Sunday, December 8, 2013

Redneck Elf on the Shelf (and other Knock Off stories)

I've been sitting here for like, an hour, trying to find something deep and reflective to write (something that would distract you all from realizing my last blog was in, ahem, March...).  Strangely, nothing was coming to me, so now I say f*ck it, this is a beer blog!!  If you want some inspiration, you've come to the wrong place (unless the inspiration you seek is in liquid form...).

So, I went to the fridge and lo and behold, look what I found!!



Redneck Elf on the Shelf seems ready to try the Hardywood knock off known as "Merry Maker" by the copy cat brewing company named Sam Adams (clearly I'm never getting a job there...).  The story behind "Merry Maker" is this...The beer on the left has become sort of a local legend.  Brewed by the darlings of Richmond brewing, Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, it got a 100 rating by the bros at Beer Advocate, and has since become a highly sought after beer. In my opinion, it is a delicious beer, and I do enjoy drinking it each season.  As far as ratings go, I think they are bullshit*.  Either you like a beer, or you don't.  I like this beer.  Anyhow, supposedly one of the founding members of Hardywood gave a bottle of Gingerbread Stout (simply known as "GBS" in these here parts) to Sam Adams founder, Jim Koch.  Then came "Merry Maker".  You make the call.  This is all second hand information, so you are free to make your own assumptions based on the fact that, well, I have no facts to back it up.  After that, I swore I would never buy Merry Maker, but as you can see, I caved.  I bought one bottle, because I wanted to see if they, with all their fancy beer analyzing equipment and supposed expertise, could do it as well as Hardywood.  It will be the only bottle I ever buy, because I can hold a grudge...forever. 

So, what do I think of "Merry Maker"?


Well, as you can see, Redneck Elf on the Shelf took one whiff and passed out.  Clearly, creepy toy dolls are not meant to drink 9% beer.  Me, I'm still standing (well, sitting because it's just weird to stand and type).  Hopefully you picked up on the slight bias I may have toward these beers based on the above information (way to go stealing the ideas of a fledgling brewery, you big bullies...), so read the following with that in mind.  Although I think this is a decent beer, it doesn't compare to GBS.  The local cookie beer has better aroma, better flavor, and well, it's just better.  Merry Maker finishes with too much bitterness.  Have you ever eaten a bitter gingerbread anything?  'Nuf said.  Try it if you want.  But if you want the REAL Gingerbread Stout, visit me in Richmond sometime next December.  Free room and board if you bring me beer.

Maybe Redneck Elf on the Shelf will be back sometime this holiday season...

Until then, cheers! 
Becky

*I mentioned that I think ratings are BS.  I do.  Really, what is the difference between a beer that's rated a 93 versus a beer rated 92?  My friend Dave has the perfect rating system.  It's based on 1, 2, 3 because, well, he's a simple guy.

1-This beer sucks.
2-This a good beer, representative of the particular style.  I might drink it again, but it's not something I will actively seek.
3-I like this beer, and I will drink it again. 

He always tells me the beer I brew is a #3, but me being me, I think they are all #2...




Sunday, March 17, 2013

Happy Hangover!

All I can say is I am glad I don't make a living writing, or my family would apparently starve!  

Once upon a time, when I had more of it, I started keeping track of each new beer I tried (on paper, 'cause that's how I roll...), mostly so I wouldn't buy a beer I didn't like a second time.  I would like to tell you it was for a more noble cause, but I would be lying.  Now I just prowl the beer aisle on a wing and a prayer and hope that my aging memory will help me avoid catastrophic purchases.  Yes, for those of you addicted to UnTappd and all those other electronic beer tracking apps, I know they are out there.  I don't have the time, or patience (mostly the patience) to mess with technology.

Despite my best attempts to remember my purchases, sometimes I don't.  However, some beers are unforgettable either for their uniqueness, or because I thought they were horrid.  Two fairly recent purchases fall into the unique category, and I know I won't forget them!


So, I bought this beer with eyes glazed over (clever, eh?), dreaming of a beer that would taste like doughnuts, maple, and bacon!  What I didn't realize, is that the DOUGHNUT part doesn't actually come into play in the beer, it is merely a collaboration between Voodoo Doughnuts (http://voodoodoughnut.com/about.html)*, and Rogue Ales.  The bacon and maple, however, are jam packed into this bottle!  And, damn it, now I REALLY want a doughnut!!  I digress...the smokey, bacon flavor dominates this brew with the maple being present more in the aroma than the flavor, but it's there.  It is prickly on the tongue, and lighter in body than I expected.  But then again, I expected to be drinking a doughnut.  This is an interesting brew, and one I knew would be a challenge for the palate, but that damn pink bottle and the word DOUGHNUT sucked me in.  I'm glad I tried it, but it won't be one that makes it into the regular rotation at the Rudolf household.

 
Ok, so the label on the bottle above should really send any sane person running in the opposite direction, fearing for their intestinal health and general well being.  But no.  I purchase not one, but TWO bottles, and start drinking one at 9:30 on a Saturday night (my pinter in crime is not home to risk possible future suffering, but that's nothing new...).  I cheated and read two reviews on http://beeradvocate.com/, just to make sure I shouldn't have a gastro-intestinal specialist on speed dial for Sunday morning.  Only two reviews so far, but neither mentioned any prolonged suffering, so I went for it (although I can assure you, this bottle will be a multi-day finish...I'm not a COMPLETE idiot).  This beer contains both scotch bonnet and habanero peppers, neither of which I am ever planning on consuming fresh, but throw them in a beer, and what the hell! 

The first few sips were prickly (and scary!) making it a little lighter bodied than I anticipated, but after it sat for a bit, the mouthfeel thickened up.  The heat is there from the start, but not overpowering, which is pretty impressive I think considering that it contains some of the hottest peppers in existence (who thinks to put that sh*t in beer anyhow?!).  It gets more interesting as it warms up and has a lingering bitterness that I didn't expect.  The sweetness and spice are blended beautifully I think, making this much more drinkable than I anticipated.  Check out the description of this beer (http://www.hardywood.com/content/hardywood-chocolate-heat), and admire the label.  I think the marketing is fantastic, but the beer won't disappoint.  Kudos to Hardywood for creating an enticing, unique, and drinkable (not a fan of just tossing stuff in beer just because you can-not the case here) beer.  Local just tastes better anyhow.

In other exciting news I recently attended  a women in brewing event at Capital Alehouse in downtown Richmond.  The event was well done, but I felt that the panelists were a bit guarded in their answers to some of the questions.  No one wants to be the one to rock the boat, but it just seemed like they were issuing safe answers to questions that addressed some potentially controversial topics in the beer industry (like the treatment of women by uh, well, men, in the industry.  Really?  None of you has EVER been exposed to any questionable comments or behavior by your male counterparts?  I find that a bit difficult to believe, but I've been told I'm too sensitive about the issue.  Maybe so.)  Lee John of Apocalypse Ale Works was bold enough to admit that she often has to convince salesman and other visitors to HER brewery that it is indeed hers, and that she is the owner and brewer.  I can assure you, those salesmen (ya know they were men, right?) would have wasted their breath trying to sell me anything after that.  Anyhow, I did enjoy the event, and it was nice to put some faces with the names I often read about in the numerous beer publications to which I subscribe.  My only wish was for more time at the end of the event for the panelists to mingle with the attendees before the band (which I thought was AWESOME!) started rocking the house.  Overall, certainly worth attending. I applaud these women for their success in the industry and for paving the way for the rest of us!   

Credit: Capital Ale House


Now for the REALLY exciting news!  Lookout CBC...here we come!  Courtesy of the generosity of my "boss" at Midnight Brewery (http://midnight-brewery.com/), I will have the opportunity to attend this year's Craft Brewers Conference in Washington, D.C.  How lucky for us that it is so close to home this year!  I am excited to go, but somewhat concerned about the survival of the two boys while I am away...how will they find food and clean clothes?  Oh, who am I kidding.  I'm a sucker.  They'll have enough food and clothes to last until I get home.  I'll try really hard to pay attention at the conference so I have lots of great things to blog about when I get back.  My greatest concern about attending is trying to keep up with the professional drinkers!  We'll see how that goes.  I might have to pack a supply of Gatorade and Advil just in case..

Well, I didn't initially intend to post this on St. Patrick's Day, but how appropriate!  I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have any Irish brew in the house, but I know where there is a tasty, partial bottle of Chocolate Heat that needs finishing!

Enjoy the day and a local beer!
Cheers!
Becky