Redneck Elf on the Shelf (and other Knock Off stories)

I've been sitting here for like, an hour, trying to find something deep and reflective to write (something that would distract you all from realizing my last blog was in, ahem, March...).  Strangely, nothing was coming to me, so now I say f*ck it, this is a beer blog!!  If you want some inspiration, you've come to the wrong place (unless the inspiration you seek is in liquid form...).

So, I went to the fridge and lo and behold, look what I found!!

Redneck Elf on the Shelf seems ready to try the Hardywood knock off known as "Merry Maker" by the copy cat brewing company named Sam Adams (clearly I'm never getting a job there...).  The story behind "Merry Maker" is this...The beer on the left has become sort of a local legend.  Brewed by the darlings of Richmond brewing, Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, it got a 100 rating by the bros at Beer Advocate, and has since become a highly sought after beer. In my opinion, it is a delicious beer, and I do enjoy drinking it each season.  As far as ratings go, I think they are bullshit*.  Either you like a beer, or you don't.  I like this beer.  Anyhow, supposedly one of the founding members of Hardywood gave a bottle of Gingerbread Stout (simply known as "GBS" in these here parts) to Sam Adams founder, Jim Koch.  Then came "Merry Maker".  You make the call.  This is all second hand information, so you are free to make your own assumptions based on the fact that, well, I have no facts to back it up.  After that, I swore I would never buy Merry Maker, but as you can see, I caved.  I bought one bottle, because I wanted to see if they, with all their fancy beer analyzing equipment and supposed expertise, could do it as well as Hardywood.  It will be the only bottle I ever buy, because I can hold a grudge...forever. 

So, what do I think of "Merry Maker"?

Well, as you can see, Redneck Elf on the Shelf took one whiff and passed out.  Clearly, creepy toy dolls are not meant to drink 9% beer.  Me, I'm still standing (well, sitting because it's just weird to stand and type).  Hopefully you picked up on the slight bias I may have toward these beers based on the above information (way to go stealing the ideas of a fledgling brewery, you big bullies...), so read the following with that in mind.  Although I think this is a decent beer, it doesn't compare to GBS.  The local cookie beer has better aroma, better flavor, and well, it's just better.  Merry Maker finishes with too much bitterness.  Have you ever eaten a bitter gingerbread anything?  'Nuf said.  Try it if you want.  But if you want the REAL Gingerbread Stout, visit me in Richmond sometime next December.  Free room and board if you bring me beer.

Maybe Redneck Elf on the Shelf will be back sometime this holiday season...

Until then, cheers! 
Becky

*I mentioned that I think ratings are BS.  I do.  Really, what is the difference between a beer that's rated a 93 versus a beer rated 92?  My friend Dave has the perfect rating system.  It's based on 1, 2, 3 because, well, he's a simple guy.

1-This beer sucks.
2-This a good beer, representative of the particular style.  I might drink it again, but it's not something I will actively seek.
3-I like this beer, and I will drink it again. 

He always tells me the beer I brew is a #3, but me being me, I think they are all #2...

Happy Hangover!

All I can say is I am glad I don't make a living writing, or my family would apparently starve!  

Once upon a time, when I had more of it, I started keeping track of each new beer I tried (on paper, 'cause that's how I roll...), mostly so I wouldn't buy a beer I didn't like a second time.  I would like to tell you it was for a more noble cause, but I would be lying.  Now I just prowl the beer aisle on a wing and a prayer and hope that my aging memory will help me avoid catastrophic purchases.  Yes, for those of you addicted to UnTappd and all those other electronic beer tracking apps, I know they are out there.  I don't have the time, or patience (mostly the patience) to mess with technology.

Despite my best attempts to remember my purchases, sometimes I don't.  However, some beers are unforgettable either for their uniqueness, or because I thought they were horrid.  Two fairly recent purchases fall into the unique category, and I know I won't forget them!

So, I bought this beer with eyes glazed over (clever, eh?), dreaming of a beer that would taste like doughnuts, maple, and bacon!  What I didn't realize, is that the DOUGHNUT part doesn't actually come into play in the beer, it is merely a collaboration between Voodoo Doughnuts (http://voodoodoughnut.com/about.html)*, and Rogue Ales.  The bacon and maple, however, are jam packed into this bottle!  And, damn it, now I REALLY want a doughnut!!  I digress...the smokey, bacon flavor dominates this brew with the maple being present more in the aroma than the flavor, but it's there.  It is prickly on the tongue, and lighter in body than I expected.  But then again, I expected to be drinking a doughnut.  This is an interesting brew, and one I knew would be a challenge for the palate, but that damn pink bottle and the word DOUGHNUT sucked me in.  I'm glad I tried it, but it won't be one that makes it into the regular rotation at the Rudolf household.

 

Ok, so the label on the bottle above should really send any sane person running in the opposite direction, fearing for their intestinal health and general well being.  But no.  I purchase not one, but TWO bottles, and start drinking one at 9:30 on a Saturday night (my pinter in crime is not home to risk possible future suffering, but that's nothing new...).  I cheated and read two reviews on http://beeradvocate.com/, just to make sure I shouldn't have a gastro-intestinal specialist on speed dial for Sunday morning.  Only two reviews so far, but neither mentioned any prolonged suffering, so I went for it (although I can assure you, this bottle will be a multi-day finish...I'm not a COMPLETE idiot).  This beer contains both scotch bonnet and habanero peppers, neither of which I am ever planning on consuming fresh, but throw them in a beer, and what the hell! 

The first few sips were prickly (and scary!) making it a little lighter bodied than I anticipated, but after it sat for a bit, the mouthfeel thickened up.  The heat is there from the start, but not overpowering, which is pretty impressive I think considering that it contains some of the hottest peppers in existence (who thinks to put that sh*t in beer anyhow?!).  It gets more interesting as it warms up and has a lingering bitterness that I didn't expect.  The sweetness and spice are blended beautifully I think, making this much more drinkable than I anticipated.  Check out the description of this beer (http://www.hardywood.com/content/hardywood-chocolate-heat), and admire the label.  I think the marketing is fantastic, but the beer won't disappoint.  Kudos to Hardywood for creating an enticing, unique, and drinkable (not a fan of just tossing stuff in beer just because you can-not the case here) beer.  Local just tastes better anyhow.

In other exciting news I recently attended  a women in brewing event at Capital Alehouse in downtown Richmond.  The event was well done, but I felt that the panelists were a bit guarded in their answers to some of the questions.  No one wants to be the one to rock the boat, but it just seemed like they were issuing safe answers to questions that addressed some potentially controversial topics in the beer industry (like the treatment of women by uh, well, men, in the industry.  Really?  None of you has EVER been exposed to any questionable comments or behavior by your male counterparts?  I find that a bit difficult to believe, but I've been told I'm too sensitive about the issue.  Maybe so.)  Lee John of Apocalypse Ale Works was bold enough to admit that she often has to convince salesman and other visitors to HER brewery that it is indeed hers, and that she is the owner and brewer.  I can assure you, those salesmen (ya know they were men, right?) would have wasted their breath trying to sell me anything after that.  Anyhow, I did enjoy the event, and it was nice to put some faces with the names I often read about in the numerous beer publications to which I subscribe.  My only wish was for more time at the end of the event for the panelists to mingle with the attendees before the band (which I thought was AWESOME!) started rocking the house.  Overall, certainly worth attending. I applaud these women for their success in the industry and for paving the way for the rest of us!   




Now for the REALLY exciting news!  Lookout CBC...here we come!  Courtesy of the generosity of my "boss" at Midnight Brewery (http://midnight-brewery.com/), I will have the opportunity to attend this year's Craft Brewers Conference in Washington, D.C.  How lucky for us that it is so close to home this year!  I am excited to go, but somewhat concerned about the survival of the two boys while I am away...how will they find food and clean clothes?  Oh, who am I kidding.  I'm a sucker.  They'll have enough food and clothes to last until I get home.  I'll try really hard to pay attention at the conference so I have lots of great things to blog about when I get back.  My greatest concern about attending is trying to keep up with the professional drinkers!  We'll see how that goes.  I might have to pack a supply of Gatorade and Advil just in case..

Well, I didn't initially intend to post this on St. Patrick's Day, but how appropriate!  I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have any Irish brew in the house, but I know where there is a tasty, partial bottle of Chocolate Heat that needs finishing!

Enjoy the day and a local beer!
Cheers!
Becky

 



 

Day 2...Insanity is near...

I'm always amazed at how my 9 year old son is completely incapable of entertaining himself...until I realize that I suck at it too.  This is our second day of being house-bound due to "Superstorm Sandy", or whatever we're calling this latest weather catastrophe, and I am bored out of my head!  There are of course, things I could be doing.  I choose to ignore these things and instead wander around the house aimlessly, occasionally stopping to hear about the Skylanders game that has probably been going on far longer than it should have.  So here's my solution...

This should be in tulip glass...just for the record.

Now before you get all judgemental on me...despite the fact that I was trapped in my house by the poor judgement of the local school system, I avoided beer until 5 o'clock on the nose yesterday...no joke!  AND what you see in the glass is exactly what I just drank at...umm...well...almost five o'clock somewhere that I am not.  Actually, this is the last of what was in that bottle, which I (reluctantly) opened last Monday night.  Oude Tart is apparently a highly regarded sour ale...a flemish style red to be exact.  Sour beers are not exactly my thing, but 1) I am always trying to improve my understanding of different beer styles, and 2) Greg the beer guy cut me a break on an otherwise $21 bottle of beer...just so I would try it.  So I did. 

I'll be honest and say when I first opened the bottle and tried it, my first instinct was to pour the rest down the drain!  SERIOUSLY tart beer-the label is not misleading.  But, I felt that dumping a beer so many others would have enjoyed was wrong, so I sucked it up (I am SUCH a trooper...).  I can honestly say that I'm not sorry I did.  Once the beer sat for a bit (I can assure you that I did not drink this in a real hurry...) it was...tolerable.  Knowing I wasn't drinking the whole bottle myself in one night (keep the sarcasm to a minimum here people), I stoppered it and wondered how long it would be before I was brave enough to try it again.  Over the past week I have occasionally poured a small amount into a glass, and am shocked to admit that I actually started to enjoy drinking it.  Today was the final pour, and although I'm not rushing out to grab another bottle, I can honestly say I would drink it again.  I might buy it and bury it in the back of the fridge (behind all the other bottles) to age a bit and maybe take the edge off the tartness, but I know that at some point I would look forward to opening it, hopefully amongst some other brave souls willing to try something new.

In other beer nerd news, I just started reading a book on IPAs in my never ending quest to perfect my own recipe. 

It starts off with a bit of history on the style, which I appreciate because the other cool hobby I have is reading history.  Within the first few pages of the book I learned that I should have been a sailor in my former life (or maybe I was?)!  Not only does the language come naturally to me, but they were allotted a GALLON of beer per day on their voyages!  HELLO?! A gallon?  No wonder those trips took so long!  They were all drunk and going in the wrong damn direction half the time...just like me!  I may have missed my calling.

To all those suffering the wrath of Sandy, my thoughts are with you.  May your troubles be short lived.  Stay safe, and save the beer!

Cheers!
Becky

P.S. The Bruery also makes an Autumn Maple beer that I must say is pretty fantastic!  It's a Belgian brown that sneaks up on you when you don't realize it is a 10% ABV.  Perfect fireside beer...

Liquid Assets

It's been awhile, so I'm just jumping right back in....

For two days I've been home sick with strep throat (I thought only children got this,  but perhaps the fact that I managed to get it speaks to my mentality...).  After trying desperately to "rest"-for Moms this includes a day filled with laundry, cooking, and baking muffins, helping with homework, you get the idea-I decided to address an issue that has been in the back of my mind for awhile.  Every time I go grocery shopping and face the daunting task of returning home to shove it all in cupboards already filled with other stuff, I notice that the fridge is always a little short on space for things like milk and juice.  Let me show you why.

Now I know those of you who have read my blog previously are not surprised, but here is the real issue.  This is not just the beer in my fridge, it is ONLY (with maybe one or two exceptions) the dark, high alcohol, bourbon barrel aged beer.  It's in the "food" fridge, because the "beer" fridge is a puny, dorm room sized thing (Dear Santa...) and the big bottles don't fit.  PLUS, the "beer" fridge is full too (but that's just the "everyday" stuff).  So, why so many bombers of unconsumed beer you ask?  Well, I'm not entirely sure, but I have a few ideas.

1) I am a lightweight, and most of these beers (anywhere from 9-16% ABV), unless consumed with other people, will knock me on my a**.  And the "others" in this household are "lightweighter" than I am (as in 9:30 bedtime without drinking).
2) The romantic visions I have of pouring these beers consist of cold weather, a fire, and a day with nothing to do.  Since two out of these three things rarely happen around here, the opportunities to actually enjoy this beer, are few and far between.
3) I'm pretty sure I am a beer hoarder, and deserve my own reality tv show (if the little freak called Honey Boo Boo can have one..)

Clearly, there are two solutions here. One, drink it.  I can assure you, this WILL happen, although these all may be really well aged  by then, and I may be sharing them on bingo night in the "home".  Or two, stop buying the stuff.  Uh, yeah.  I can also assure you this WILL NOT happen.  And in this case I'll be sharing the beer with my new boyfriend after my husband sees this picture and kicks me out (we know he won't do this though. For proof, re-read the first paragraph of this post).

Ahhh, such is the life I lead and the gut wrenching dilemmas I face...perhaps I will share with you the final outcome when "Beer Hoarders" takes over the "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" slot on TLC.

Until then, Happy Friday!
Cheers!
Becky

P.S. Here is a picture of the "beer" fridge...see, I TOLD you it was puny!

The Search Continues!



21st Amendment Brewery
HELL or HIGH WATERMELON
4.9% ABV

Ok, ok.  I know what you are thinking.  This is a WHEAT beer (says so right there on the can) and I don't like wheat beers.  Or beer in cans for that matter. True, but no rules exist that say I can't keep trying them.  I am still searching for that elusive "summer beer" to alleviate some of the IPA blahs I have developed.  Still love them, still drink them, but I am definitely in a beer rut. 

So, here we have HELL or HIGH WATERMELON, a wheat beer from 21st Amendment Brewery.  I wish I had poured it in a little bit smaller glass.  The visual effect loses a little something when the beer doesn't fill the glass.  You can see how hazy it is.  Pours pretty well with a nice two finger head.  The head is short lived however and the beer leaves little lace.  The aroma is wheat up front with at slight hint of watermelon.  In the interest of full disclosure, I tried this on draft at Whole Foods before I decided to buy.  The scent of watermelon is present in the draft version, but I really didn't detect much in the pour from the can.  The flavor is all wheat.  I don't get much, if any, watermelon (it was there in the draft version also).  I do like the fact that this is a "sessionable" (you can drink a few without fear of toppling over...) beer because in my, uh, less than youthful state I find that a few at 7 or 8% can really do me in!

Very much a drinkable beer.  I'll have no problem enjoying these on the deck/patio with the onset of hot weather here in Richmond.  I would definitely suggest trying the draft version as it is much more impressive than the canned version (true for all beers for the most part). 



It doesn't suck!

 Ok, so I know my last post showed pictures of my first brew, which of course was an IPA.  Well, there it is!  I successfully transfered it from the "fermentor" (a slightly altered homebrew keg...) and carbonated it.  I fully expected this beer to be entirely undrinkable, but it's not bad for a first brew if I do say so myself!  I love the color, although I would be ok with it being a little lighter.  The aroma is really sweet and the alcohol is right up front which makes me think I should have paid more attention to the fermentation temperature.  Ahhh, live and brew!  The flavor mimics the aroma.  It is much too sweet and it packs a helluva punch!  It's a bit "thick".  Not sure how to solve that yet.  Needless to say I was pretty excited that it didn't totally suck (it probably does, but I'm just not going to admit that) and already had my next brew planned...

And, here it is!  Fermenting quite nicely in the guest room shower.  No visitors for awhile, so I think we're good to go!  This is an IPA also but I changed up the yeast and hops.  Pretty much the same malt bill.  Should have a nice oily flavor since I didn't read ALL the directions for my new immersion chiller (I totally give my husband sh*t for that all the time too...) and hence probably did not remove all the junk off the copper.  Oh well.  It's been fermenting like crazy so I'll hold out hope!

I have recipes for the next two brews so I need to hurry up and drink these!  Or find some people willing to drink experimental, oily beer!  Any takers?

Until next time!
Cheers!
Becky

I'm baaaack...

March 23rd?  That was the last post? Really?  No excuses.

Of course, just because we've been apart doesn't mean I stopped drinking beer.  No ice skating in hell over the past 6 weeks...

In FACT, I have, of course, a new beer to tell you about, and then some very random pictures to show you...just read.

Maui Brewing Co.
Bikini Blonde Lager
Helles Lager
5.1% ABV

I really wasn't sure what I was in the mood for, so I roamed the "singles" section at Whole Foods (hmmm...I'm refering to beer, but maybe I'm on to something) and decided on this one.  I briefly considered New Belgium's Shift (lager), but I am really not into them-New Belgium is mostly hype in my opinion.  I only was going to try it because I had a preconceived idea that I wouldn't like it and was looking forward to trashing it (or maybe I was secretly afraid I would have to admit to liking it). 

Anhyhow, I picked this up because the blonde on the can looks a little bit like me.  And what was in the can reminded me of me also.  A pretty good beer, but it might need a little work.  A sweet, malty aroma meets the nose right off-that's me-sweet right up front.  The two finger head disappears pretty quickly leaving me to focus on the hazy, orange/gold color.  Usually things are a little hazy around here, but no gold to be found because I would sell it and move somewhere waaaayyy better.   Medium body and low carbonation.  Yeah, I guess maybe I'm "medium bodied" on a good day, but I'd say I have a little more pop than this beer.  No real hop presence, and no noticeable bitterness, true to the "helles" lager style.  Ok, so maybe this beer and I have some differences...I've got hop (well, some left at my age anyhow) AND pop, but definitely no bitterness.  A severe streak of cynicism and sarcasm, but no bitterness.

Overall, pretty good.  I was really hoping to find a "summer beer", but this wasn't it.  I'm not a fan of wheat (this wasn't a wheat beer) beers which are most of the summer offerings, so I am usually just drinking IPAs.  Which is fine, but I like to mix it up.  So far, most of the Maui offerings have just been "ok".  Nothing special.  But I won't send if back if a cute guy in the "singles" section sends one over.

Ok, now on to the random photos section of this post...sort of a VERY brief representation of my beer life since my last post....

Zoe was AWESOME, Nepenthe was ok, and I left "The Camp" at my parents house and it damn well better be there when I get back in a few weeks!

Deck beer is always awesome.

Thank you Virginia legislature for allowing breweries the same privileges as wineries.  'Bout time!



I didn't want to eat in your stupid restaurant anyhow.

T.J. had one, why can't I?

Clever, but not my fave.

My boss and the Governor McDonnell.  Virginia is for craft beer lovers you know.

This beer got a 100/100 rating on Beer Advocate.  This brewery is 6 months old.  They released this 4 months ago.  My favorite, even before the fancy accolades (it also took 3rd place in the Spice/Herb category at the World Beer Cup).

How to amuse yourself, er, your children, at a restaurant. This one allowed firearms.  And ninjas.

The first attempted brew at the "Little Red Wagon Brewing Company".  Screw you Radio Flyer.  I can call it what I want.  (It rained?  Bad sign?  I think not).

This is where I am going right now.  So. Good.  Get some if you can.


Happy Friday Night Pints!
Becky

It's Sprummer!

It's March 23rd, and I am already sick of yard work.  The only redeeming quality of raking leaves and pulling weeds is that I feel like I've actually EARNED the beer I have consumed this week...

But enough whining...and onto the beer!  Despite my complaints about the Virginia heat (the joke around our house is that VA has two seasons...Summer, and NOT Summer), I will give props to Virginia's early spring evenings, and tonight was the first outdoor Friday Night Pint of 2012!!  Yeehaa!

The debut of the FNP official sign! 

I figured four consecutive days of 80 degree weather (in "spring" mind you...) justified putting up the official sign!  A beautiful evening for a beer on the patio, despite the fact that the yard isn't quite up to snuff! 

Always a fan of supporting local beer, this week's featured brew is from Devil's Backbone Brewing Company in Roseland, VA (ok, it's like an hour and a half away, but I consider same state to be fairly local!) (http://www.dbbrewingcompany.com/default.aspx).  I have only had the pleasure of visiting this brewery once, but it is definitely my kind of place!  Rustic, in the middle of nowhere, and they brew good beer!  What's not to like?!  My local Whole Foods had the Eight Point IPA and Vienna Lager in 6 packs.  If you've read my blog before, you know which one I picked!

The best way to describe the Eight Point IPA is "gentle".  It is a nice, easy drinking IPA.  At 5.9% ABV and 60 IBUs, it is certainly more "sessionable" than others I have tried.  It's a three step IPA (I just totally made this up, but it works here)-you get some nice citrusy hops in the nose, a nice malt flavor, and a bitter finish that reminds you that the hops are there.  One follows the other, in that order, and you aren't overwhelmed by any one aspect of the beer.  The carbonation gives it a prickly mouthfeel and adds a little dryness to the beer (thanks to my pinter in crime for bringing this aspect to my attention).

This is a good, solid IPA that I would definitely drink again.  I need a full weekend to head back over in the direction of Devil's Backbone and the Brew Ridge Trail (this is I did NOT make up...http://brewridgetrail.com/).  I'm a firm believer that beer tastes better with a buddy, but beer with a buddy AND a killer location...unbeatable!  You may very well see the Vienna Lager featured soon!

I hope you are enjoying your Friday Night Pints with a buddy in a killer location!
Cheers!
Becky